Thursday, 15 September 2016

2016 GBBO Mini blog. Week 4

First things first...

RIP GBBO?!?: Well, pass me the Zivania-infused Cypriot bread and get me a ruddy grip!  I think we all need the Mel and Sue sandwich this week...  Basically, Mary, Paul, Mel and Sue are the GBBO Beatles – and who wants to see the Wings of televised baking? (Or, even worse, the Paul McCartney - Hollywood'll hold on til Challenge TV are making it, won't he?)

But anyway, let's not dwell - we still have several weeks of good baking cheer left.  And we mustn't ignore the WONDER that was...

Batter Week

Mel & Sue Sandwich: Cheerio Kate - back to the farm.  She must’ve wished she'd had a BATTER week, EH?  (Mwahaha, all the chortles.)  But her Christmas Yorkshires were too small and her rabbit churros were too demonic.

Lucky escape: (Val’s going to win this thing, isn’t she?)  Tom came closest to going - though he was frankly lucky he wasn’t ejected from the tent for putting fennel in his churros - yuck.  His Sig Bake didn't go well either, but I’d OBVIOUSLY still have eaten his excessively flat Yorkshire Puddings – sure, it’s better if they rise, but a Yorkie’s a Yorkie.  You eat it regardless.

Ma Baker: Benjamina – though I can’t really remember what she did this week.  I think she made churros that looked like churros.

Smut-watch: Selasi’s lace pankies looked like bums, whilst Candice confirmed she’s a “tosser all the way”.  Candice always makes smut-watch, doesn't she?  What a gal.

What has Selasi tried to wing this week?:  Paul looks at Selasi’s churros. “They’re burnt, Selasi.” Selasi does innocent face. “Are they?”

Baking doesn’t get any BATTER than this
A sample of texts received from my sister during the show:
“Yorkshire puddings. The pinnacle of food.”
“Oh lord.  Wellington.  Yes.”
“I’d just have a Yorkshire pudding filled with more Yorkshire pudding and covered in a Yorkshire pudding.”
“At uni, I once bought a whole pack of aunt Bessie’s Yorkshire puddings, cooked them all and ate them in one sitting. Like pop corn.”
“100% real.”
“Batter week is the BOMB.”
“It is the opposite of crepe.”
“I only speak the truth.”
She DOES only speak the truth.  Batter Week – you’ll remain in our hearts as a one-off thing of fried, delicious beauty.  It was a wondrous time, even though the only way to improve a Yorkshire Pudding is to double your quantities of Yorkshire Pudding.

Next time: Pastry.  Don't even THINK about going shop-bought.

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