Alternative
ingredients week.
AKA: 'Free from' week - and atypically free
from much tent smut, until Mel got to inspect Ian's hanging nuts and Paul's
marzipan bikini gusset. Until then the
only 'high point' had been Flora discussing her buche.
Bye
bye: Ugne and her
perfect haircut. She tied her hair back for the Showstopper and I knew the game
was up - thwarted like a Bake Off Samson to Berrywood’s Delilah. Or perhaps it was because her peanut butter
ice cream and grape jelly roll looked, shall we say, a bit mushy.
Lucky
escape: Wunderkind Flora, who failed to use enough sponge for Bezza's liking. Mary didn’t rate Flora's narrow sponge
landing strip at all - she was clearly hoping for a fuller, seventies buche.
Ma
Baker: After several weeks of producing great own-bakes, but always coming bottom in the technical challenge, Nadiya was top of the technical class, making gluten-free pitta breads that presumably tasted marginally less
disgusting than anyone else’s.
Agave
nectar: nope, me either... What's the point of a sugar-free cake if you are forced to add other incredibly sweet ingredients which can't be any better
for you. It’s a cake! No amount of probiotic/microbiotic/madeupbiotic alternatives
are going to make it healthy, whatever the Goop newsletter might promise.
Next
time: Pastry time. IT'S SOGGY
BOTTOM WEEK, PEOPLE!
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